5:30 alarm is early, but we got this...

So we are good.   6:25am, we are out the door... kids are cheered, fed, dressed and off to the bus full of trust fund kids (I just used my kids' last $200 of savings for food).  Forgot one thing.   Adds one minute.   One minute is too many and we will be late.   I text the bus driver and head stepford wife.   I'm flying in the dark country road.  Waze shits the bed and I start to panic.   It comes back to life and turns me behind a school bus.   A bus that stops at 4 driveways in a row that are no more than 12 feet apart.   (These F'n lazy kids need to walk to one place.)  Now full blown panic, cussing and crying and honking at a school bus. (yeah proud moment)  I keep texting bus driver and queen bee.  Finally they respond and will wait for us.   

Of course, I have clearly just shown that I am texting and driving.   So at this point why not go full tilt.   Apologize to the kids for my breakdown, turn up the sub and throw some Rosa Parks on and rap our way on two wheels into the parking lot.   I jump out with manure covered shoes and toss the kiddos on the bus.   #winning    *note to self: purchase Starbucks gift card for bus driver and hopefully earn some future ass-saving days*